Cadillac Beach_A Novel by Tim Dorsey
Author:Tim Dorsey [Dorsey, Tim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humour, General, mystery, Action & Adventure, humorous, Fiction
ISBN: 9780061841897
Google: sxFeCgAAQBAJ
Amazon: B000GCFBTC
Goodreads: 268767
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2009-03-17T21:26:03+00:00
Waiting by the phone,
Katie Fan Numero Uno
Serge A. Storms
P.S. Weâll soon be arriving in the Beatlesâ room, so you can reach us there.
LENNY DROVE WITH a six-pack between his legs as they made their second getaway from Miami Executive Airport in as many days. Serge sat in back with the prisoner. He pulled the gunnysack off.
âHey, this doesnât look like Johnny Palermo,â said Serge, covering Mick Dafoe with a pistol. âLenny, are you sure you got the right airport?â
âThereâs more than one?â
âYou idiot!â
âSorry.â
âWait. I know this guy from somewhere. But where?â Serge studied his face, then flickered with recognition. âYeah, I remember now. Heâs that smart-ass sports columnistâ¦. Man, I love your stuff! The other guys crank out fish-wrap tripe, but youâre like a daily dose of literature!â
Dafoeâs eyes stayed on Sergeâs pistol.
Serge noticed him looking at the gun. âSince Iâm a fan, this wonât be necessary.â
Dafoe didnât know what to think, whether to be scared or angry. He spoke tentatively: âDid the chamber put you up to this?â
âThe chamber?â
âChamber of Commerce. Is this a practical joke?â
âNo, this is real.â Serge turned to Lenny. âReal stupid!â
âI said I was sorry.â
âWanna hit?â
Dafoe turned around. A hand was offering him a lit joint. Dafoe was about to say no when he noticed the hand was attached to a drop-dead Scandinavian named Country, seated next to the equally stunning City.
Dafoe looked back at Serge. âWhatâs going on?â
âIt was supposed to be a kidnapping,â said Serge. âBut somebody canât read a map!â
âYouâre not kidding, are you?â said Dafoe.
âDonât worry, you werenât the target. Supposed to be a mobster.â
Country tapped Dafoe on the shoulder. âWant a hit or not?â
âI guess I could do a little hit.â Dafoe took a drag and handed it back to Country, who inverted the joint in her mouth and blew City a shotgun.
Dafoe didnât mind seeing that. âAre you two lesbians?â
âNo.â
âDarn.â
Lenny reached between his legs and popped a couple beers off the six-pack ring. He put one in the driverâs beverage holder and held the other over his shoulder. âYour friend want a beer?â
âYes, thatâs a great idea!â said Serge. âHow about a beer for the greatest sports columnist in the world?â He popped the top and handed it to Dafoe. âWelcome to Miami!â
Serge got out a polishing rag and went to work on his chrome.45. âYes, sir. I donât think most people can grasp the level of your brilliance. They donât know how to read anymore, completely missing the allegorical references and subtle symbolism, like that hilarious time you called Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig a syphilitic pimp for allowing the world-champion Marlins to be cannibalized for spare parts.â
âThank you.â
âSo Whitmanesque!â Serge noticed Rusty and Doug, catatonic. He slapped each of them on the knees. âHey! Donât you know who this is? Itâs Mick Dafoe, the famous sports scribe! Isnât that exciting? This makes my whole day!â¦Lenny! Tunes!â
âRoger.â Lenny grabbed a Soup Dragons CD, the first of several excellent selections.
ââ¦Iâm free to do what I want, any old timeâ¦â
Country passed Dafoe the joint again, down to a nub.
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
The Hating Game by Sally Thorne(18696)
Cat's cradle by Kurt Vonnegut(14756)
The Break by Marian Keyes(9075)
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan(8883)
A Man Called Ove: A Novel by Fredrik Backman(8178)
Me Before You by Jojo Moyes(6229)
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion(5831)
Beartown by Fredrik Backman(5348)
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman(5083)
A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke(5074)
Beach Read by Emily Henry(4973)
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren(4649)
Audition by Ryu Murakami(4610)
China Rich Girlfriend by Kwan Kevin(4283)
Rich People Problems by Kevin Kwan(4121)
Ayesha At Last by Uzma Jalaluddin(3997)
Lamb, the Gospel According to Biff by Christopher Moore(3299)
Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich(3229)
The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion(3200)
